The best thing I never had

Oh yes another movie was done and another story to be told. Why is it not like the movies? When everything falls in the category of “happy ending”. Where all sorrows and bitterness will turn to laughs and tears of joy. Why can it be? Why can it be the two of us?

I’ve always been in love with him. All this time I treated him as my best friend, but the truth is I’m secretly in love with him, although I keep saying it to him and he just take it as a joke. And I don’t give a shit telling it to him because I know the answer. I never tried but I know what will happen. I just know the answer.

The truth is I’m a liar. I never compare the present to my past relationship; I always compare them to him. if my present relationship turns to be like us. I know he’s not that tall, he’s not rich to buy me things I want. He doesn’t have a car to drive me around whenever I get bored. But one thing is for sure, he’s always there to listen to my problems, laugh with me whenever I wanted to laugh and he’s the only guy in this world that can totally bring the shit in me.

All I ever wanted was his attention. But as time goes by all I ever wanted was his affection, his time and his love. And I guess I can’t really take everything in the world. I’m just his gay best friend and nothing will change. It will always be like this. I guess, he’s the best thing I never had.

I always ask myself why I never have the guts to tell him what I feel and I just ending up staring at his picture looking for an answer. Now I know the answer. It is because we’ve been friends for a very long time and I always don’t like rejections, especially if it is coming from him. I never wanted our friendship to be over just because I fall in love with him and don’t feel the same way. I never wanted things to end up just like that

He knows how much I like to touch his ear before we sleep (oh yes we sleep together, but nothing happen I assure you). I like smelling him his scent. I’m just addicted to him. I like it when he acts like he is supposed to take care of me when I’m drunk but the truth is he has a low toleration of alcohol than me. I like it when I can freely touch his hands, bite his back whenever I want to, or at least punch him just because I’m bored. I want his smile that light up my Monday whenever I see him. I like him because he never gets tired of me; he never gets tired of our fights, he never gets tired of chasing me whenever I walk out(although he never did).  He never gets tire of texting me even though I always text him crappy things and even I exceed my limit in words whenever I’m not in the mood. He never gets tired of tolerating my little bratty wishes whenever he can and one thing I love about him is that he’s a spoiler. He’s everything a girl and a hopeless romantic gay could ever wish for.

I know he follows my blog, but I’m not sure if he reads my articles. Probably he’ll ask me what the hell I’m thinking posting this. The truth is I just want to let him know that I care for him and I love him. It’s not because I’m drunk as of the moment or just because I’m not receiving a text from him. I just love him the way I should love. If his answer is no then the friendship is over, and there is no options if he says yes.

Graduation Here We Come!

Few months from now, we will leave college. Few months from now we have to find a job, earn our very own first salary and enjoy the life an average adult do. Now we're professionals!

Back in my last day of high school all I ever thinking is going to college, get a god course and embrace the freedom college life will give. We all know that college is a lot harder than in High School. High school is more on the first something of everything. From the kiss to the boyfriend (although some meet their first boyfreind in college) and many more. The complicated life in college taught us to be much more of a responsible person rather than just a kid.

We all love the "gala"  back in high school., here in college its different. More on "gimik"  as they say.

This time, its different. After the long march in the commencement exercise to the real life afterward, me and the rest of  the JUANDEE family will try our best to be adult. Or at least just so they know it. This time, no more thesis deadline, but no more overnight to deal with. No more terror prof that will stun you in your seat and no more crazy prof that will make you go insane chasing them for your grades. College is one part of our life that give us the big impact. Kung ano man ang impact na yun, its up to you ;)

So for all the applicants for graduation, lets do this! think POSITIVE we're all gonna GRADUATE! :)