This time its different

I still remember the times when we use to walk from our school to the nearest LRT station. Its funny how we talk about anything under the sun and not to mention that we're classmates. I still remember the days when we usually think of things that are so ironic but theres a chance to be so true. I admit so many I guess for this past few months(probably a year) I will say I love you.

This time its different. There were so many things that changed; the communication suddenly stop, the bonding seems to be once in a blue moon, and every single pieces of us can't be bring together anymore. But one thing is for sure. I really miss you right now.

I still remember when all the topics are over we stand up here in the front of this billboard and wait for the train. Its the weirdest thing for me how this billboard witness things that normal people can't see . It witness the struggles, fighting, laughs, even though you pissed me off most of the time. I should admit, I miss those things.

A building that always been a center of attraction for the both of us. Story that I wish I told you, questions that never been asked, and feelings that never been appreciated. It really annoys me how you told me that "My next girlfriend will be the one I'll take there". How I wish I could be that one. How I wish.

"sana nasabi ko nalang sayo na mahal kita. Sana nasabi ko nalang sayo na ako nalang, ako nalang please. Minsan tuloy naiisip ko iiwas kaba pag naging matapang ako eh di sana tayo na ngayon"

Pag nabasa mo to ibig sabihin naka move on na ako sayo. Ibig sabihin ok na akong harapin ang tayo, kahit na wala namang tayo. Masaya ako sa kung anong meron tayo ngayon. Habang buhay nalang kitang magiging "espren" dahil sa relasyon na yun dun tayo magtatagal.

Goodbye my bestfriend's love. :)

A writer like me

It’s been quite a while since I last saw him. It was like I never know him before; I was star struck when I saw him again. And just like what happen before his magical smile make my knees weak and when he stare at me he make me start to catch my breath. He’s just like the boy I wish I could have. The boy-next-door every single girls wish to be their boyfriend. He is the best thing that never been mine.

I always dream of him; his soft lips kissing my chicks, his tender hands caressing my back and his soft voice whispering my name over and over again. The same story always happen; the guy you always wanted never like you and the man you always reject was the one who pick you up. Same story, same plot, same climax, sometimes the character change but the whole concept is still there. What if I have the guts to change everything? Just like in the movie where there is this cool guy that can change our destiny or a guy who has a magical remote that can rewind or fast forward a specific part of his life. I want to change everything; from the snob start, awkward conversation, weird stuffs and  all. I want to change all. I want to start in zero again. Back in square one.

What if I’m smarter than you? Would you ask help from me just to get your assignment done? What if I’m a cheerleader would you ask me a date because I’m hot? What if I was the queen of the night in our prom would you ask me to dance? All are questions, never been answered and never will be answered. These things will never happen and I guess it will never be. All of my dreams are shattered all over and I don’t know where I will start picking them up.

Now I just become a writer. An ordinary writer and you know what’s the best part of my job? It’s that I can change everything. The same plot and the sad endings. I can change them all in every single things I want. I can make the guy I love fall in love with me and just enough time  before the guy who love me pick me up so that I can have my best ending. I maybe not the smartest one to help you out with your assignment. I maybe not the bombshell cheerleader you always dream to have a perfect date, or I may not be the queen of the night in our prom to have the opportunity to dance with you. In my story all of these will happen, all of these dreams will come true.

I may not be the man who has the ability to adjust everything to have a great destiny or that guy who has a magical remote to control my life but I’m a writer I can do much better than that. I can right everything I want, give my miserable story a happy ending, add another color to my life and etc. That’s the benefits of a writer I can control my happy ending, decide on what is the best and in case that I choose the wrong guy or make a wrong decision?  I still have so many pages in my life to write a new chapter and I know in the end it will be a happy ending. I admit I’m not powerful, but I’m strong enough to overcome my fears, to face my mistake and make my life a better one. That’s a writer, if you can’t handle me, just don’t touch me because I’m stronger than what you think. 

Songs of my heart today.

What a date!

I've been dreaming of moving on. The things I don't usually do but I already did. So many lame excuses, so many reasons and so many awkward moment. I Always believing in dating. I'ts the process of  knowing each other, and sometimes it is the start of "magic". Life is about knowing what may happen in the future is always depend on the present. That's how I see's it.

What!?

Wala na talagang tatalo sa kung anong meron ako ngayon. Minsan kasi (or should I say madalas) hindi ko talaga na aapreciate yung mga nasa paligid ko. People who believes in me, people who always understand me, yung mga taong walang sawang nagbabangon sa akin pag nadadapa ako (literally of figurative man).

I never know until I have the chance to see what I have done in the past 19 years of my life. Ano na ba ang narating ko? Asan na ba ako ngayon?

Most of the time my sisters were my listeners.

I used to talk to them a lot. 

I always been with my family madalas talaga sila nila akong pagalitan sigawan at kung ano-ano pa. haha. Sad to say hindi pa rin ako tumino! haha LOL

Lagi naman talaga akong weird. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero weird talaga ako. Kaya when I'm growing up hindi ko inexpect na I will have a lots of friends. Well given that I am gay I don't think na mag kakaroon ako ng mga kaibigan totoo man sila o hindi..LOL

given that are I have few friends. I believe that I will have my "Special One" yung tipong more that friends ang drama (oo na sige na yung mga naging......)

As ever hindi pa din ako magiging ganito kundi dahil sa kanila. I'm thankful dahil Madrama man ako, spoiled brat, abnormal kung minsan, madalas talo pa ang buntis kung mag mood swing., coffee adik or what anjan pa din sila walang sawang nagbibigay saya at sakit ng ulo sa akin. Ano pa ba ang kulang sa akin??

Baby bash complete me. Hindi man siya galing sa akin hindi man ako ang gumawa sa kanya but she will always gonna be special. She will always be my "baby basha"

Life has its own turn and straight road. It has some bump in the roads. We may say its a little bit unfair, but c'mon we all enjoy those "little unfair" in this cool life. Be inspire. SMILE

new hair style new life?

Emo Hair style with a bangs!

POSE! new hair!

r.    

Movies. Movies. Movies

        Kring.kring. Putcha! Ang aga-aga may gusting tumawag sa akin nasira tuloy ang maganda kong panaginip.  Sayang andun pa naman na ako sa magandang part nung panaginip ko.

        i have no choice kundi bumangon na. Get my coffee and start the day. Wala pa palang maiinit na tubig. Dun ko tuloy namiss ang isang tulad mo. Dati-dati pag gising ko may coffee  na agad ako may pandesal pa mula sa labas. Wala akong magagawa ako ang humiling nito, kaya pangangatawanan ko.

        today is thursday april 14, 2011. Pag ganitong mga araw dapat i’m busy doing my staffs. Pero i choose to seek something out of nowhere. Ilabas ang mga dvd at manood. Movie marathon ang drama ko. Tama ba namang umabsent sa trabaho para lang dito?

Movies you should watch when you’re feeling down.

1.    “one more chance”- remember “popoy and basha”. Yung kwento ng love life nila parang kwento ng love life ng iba, yung tipong nakipag-break ka pero kaw naman pala yung maghahabol sa kanya at hihingi ng one more chance. It also teach me the “three month rule” na kung saan it will always be a part of my love life.

1.    “red riding hood” – one of my latest favorite movies. Valerie played by amanda syfreid is such a fun to watch. It brings the best on me kung sino ba talaga yung werewolf. Her love was never compelling. The movie teach me to wait patiently for the right guy, because no matter what or how long it may be dadating pa din siya. I know he will come.

1.    “adjustment bureau” – si matt damon ang bida. This movie is really a fun thing to watch. Ang action(who’s always been a partner of love) ay simple lang; no guns, bombs explosion, etc. The movie gives us the “faith” that we need to fight for our love. Just like in matt(damon) character she need that “faith “ para ilayo at ipaglaban ang gusto niyang girl, even if his worst enemy is his destiny. Handa siyang labanan ang agos ng tadhana(what a dramatic line) para lang makasama si elise. The movie teach me the power to fight for someone, kahit na hamakin mo pa ang lahat lahatng bagay it always pay at the end. It’s worth it.

1.    “500 days of summer” this movies is amazing. From the story it is great. Ang lupit kung paano nakilala si summer and how he brings conflict to the life of the guy(i just forgot the name) this story show me that there still people that are afraid of commitment, of responsibility. Pinagisip ako ng movie na to kung sa bandang huli ba sila pa dina ang magkakatuluyan. He give me also the kick-of-reality na kahit minsan mahal mo siya pero parang feeling niya kulang pa ang love na yun eh talagang matatakot siyang magcommit . Sa movie ko nakuha ang linyang “we don’t need to put labels on things. All we need is consistency”

1.    “crazy little thing called love”  - this movie will sure be a good hit! I’d never watch a thai movie before, but this movie changed my perception about thai. I’m sure that those who have seen it said out loud “holy shit that’s meeee!” At least once, because almost all of the scenes were plucked out of every high school girl (and gay)’s diary. Her friends remind us of our own oddball friends and those silly things they did to be noticed by the guy? You did those, too, admit it! And omg you know that scene where nam finally gives him a white rose and professes her undying love only to be heart-broken in the end?! Can i just say that… that happened to me. Twice!!! I felt your pain, girl! I felt it bad! I understand, the producers are selling a fantasy and i commend them for doing an awesome job. Crazy little thing called love is that, really – a fantasy and in my opinion, should not be called “everyone’s love story”. If it was, it would’ve turned out the way it does in real life, where not-so-good-looking, chubby, pimplish, dark-skinned, bad-haired, no-named, awkward teenage girls don’t get the boys of their dreams in the end. Heck, even the pretty ones don’t always get what they want. And how many times have to leave a scrapbook and a heart-felt confession from the very we actually bawled our eyes out and no one went to our door steps person that we’re crying about??? Nine years have passed, too but my first love – the person i wrote all those stories for and has made me what i am now, is still not telling me “i love you too”. Fail

These are the movies worth a time. Kahit naman kasi hindi mo sabihin alam kong gusto mo silang panoorin at the same time comfort yourself while watching this. How amazing movies make a quite similar reflection of our love life.

It’s funny how the main bida of the story sometimes get the glimpse of you of what you did in the past, today or maybe those characters are giving you the plan what you’ll do in the future to get the guy of your dream.

At the end of each movie that i watched it gave me different moral lessons that i can use not just in love but also in life. Sana dumami pa ang mga ganitong movies. J