Single but not alone

It was a typical day of summer. The hot temperature outside added more boredom in my life, so I decided to went outside and try to go to malls and look for something that I want but not needed. And that is LOVE.

            Nakasakay ako sa isang fx, feeling ko pinaglalaruan ako ng tadhana biruin mo ba naman ako lng ang walang kausap na nakasakay. Ilabas ang cellphone. Makininig ng radio. Pero kahit anong gawin ko alam ko na mag isa lang ako at wala na akong magagawa nun.

            Atlast, andito na din ako sa mall, the cold aircon calm my mind. Ano ba yan! Bakit naman ganun kahit san ka man lumingon you can always see a couple. Straight man o hindi. Bakit ganun parang feeling ko naging pilya nanaman ang kupido ko at pina mukha sa akin na wala akong kasama. NA WALA AKONG PARTNER.

            Eh anong magagawa ko kundi tumingin lang at humanga sa mga couple na aking nakikita. Teka bakit nga ba ako nakatitig sa kanila? Ano ba ang pinagkaiba nila sa akin? Hindi ko alam kung ano pero sa tingin ko alam ko na ayaw ko lang aminin. Makapag kape nga muna.

            Wow! Parang feeling ko lahat ng tao na mag-isa ay nasa coffee shop ah. Wala kang makikita na couple dito, how IRONIC was that. How ironic ang init na nga eh naisipan ko pang mag kape. Just to remember the days you and I we’re still together in this small coffee shop. Ano ba bakit ganun lalo lang pinamumuka sa akin na I’m ALONE, sabayan pa ng tugtug na ALONE ni CELINE DION.

            While drinking my coffee, naisip ko na malaki ang pinagkakaiba ng SINGLE at ALONE. Eh kasi ang single, ay pinili mong maging single, you are not commited to anyone except to yourself. While being alone is just being yourself, without a friends to accompany you its like when you’re looking for comfort and you hold your own hand to comfort yourself.

            Eh sino ba niloko ko? It just like I was the one who’s doing anything and can’t even make something out of it. Bakit ganun lahat ng tao nakatingin sa akin lahat sila naka SMILE, yung tipo ng ngiti na nakakainis? Ah kaya pala, hindi ko kasi napansin na yung barista eh kanina pa nakatayo sa harap ko at naghihintay ng response ko. Sorry kuyang barista, masyado lang talaga malakas ang earphone ko kaya di kita marinig. It was so funny na yung kuyang barista is the same barista na laging kukukuha ng order natin. It was funny but so embarrassing. Kaya tumayo nalang ako at kinuha ang pina take-out ko at sabay alis sa coffee shop.

            I maybe single but not alone, maybe Mr. Right is out there somewhere in the part of this globe waiting for me, waiting for the right time to be commited. Im clossing my door for my own good, but as everybody says “If the door is close, a window is always open”

            Single but not alone. Free but not lolely. That’s how I can describe my situation right now. Happy but not commited.